Personal Post: “Experience With the Shadow”

This is a companion piece to the personal post where I shared my affirmations playlist from Youtube. That made me think of all the people who’ve tried various self-help methods that haven’t worked – which in turn, made me think of how much I’ve learned over the years both with my mentor and during the scary time when I was on my own. It’s amazing how when you’re led to the right teacher, they open your mind to things that were right there in front of you all along. It’s frightening how obvious some thing were back then, yet I still didn’t see them until they were pointed out to me. Even when it’s done kindly, some people still refuse to accept or even acknowledge the new information. I’ve seen this happen to all kinds of people, including some who sought deeper truth their whole lives. It just goes to show how deeply programmed we all are in this world to all the wrong things.

I’ve had difficulty accepting some of the wisdom Alura has offered me, especially when it concerned myself and my own perceived faults and failings. For the past couple of months, I’ve been engaged in some of the deepest shadow work I have ever experienced in my life. Even that is nothing like what I hear others talking about, online or in books. This isn’t to judge anybody. Who knows, maybe the more trendy stuff works for them. Perhaps they’re meant to learn from it later and help others who still haven’t found what they need. There are all kinds of possibilities, which makes life interesting.

As I have progressed in my shadow work journey, I’ve followed Alura’s advice and used the affirmations and mantras to help keep my vibe high. (I’ve always had trouble with that.) It’s a very interesting experience because, as I said in the earlier post, I’ve never worked with either of these tools before in a serious way. When I did try, they didn’t seem to work. Now I see one of the reasons why. It wasn’t that they were worthless. I was just expecting the wrong results. They aren’t magic wands that you wave in the air to make your troubles vanish and become a new person almost overnight. Just like anything in life, if you want to grow, you must work for it. You can’t put new wine into old wine skins, which was what I was trying to do in a way. I thought I could make improvements without dredging up the junk that was accumulating even back then. I thought I could force in the good without getting rid of the bad. Of course, part of me didn’t want to have anything to do with this kind of shadow work because I didn’t want to give anything up – least of all a part of who I was. There’s comfort in familiarity, even if the familiar things aren’t good for you.

In short, if someone who was about to go through a similar situation came to me and asked what to prepare for, I’d say be patient and compassionate. It never ceases to amaze me how the most critical (and even abusive) person in our lives is often ourselves because we can’t get away from ourselves. Alura taught me that if you don’t truly love yourself, then you can’t truly love anyone else. I didn’t fully understand before, but now I’m learning how right she is. Never think that you’re worthless or not worthy of help. Do you really think the Heavens would have bothered making you and keeping you alive all this time if They didn’t love you? The Creator doesn’t define you according to the society you live in any more than He judges you based on what other people think. He knew what what lurking in those shadows long before you did, and He still didn’t forsake you. How do I know? You saw this post, didn’t you?

May your day be filled with hope and love.